Challenges Adolescents May be Facing
Adolescence is a tough time in life with changing bodies, hormones, emotions, feelings, and friendships and, at times, relationships. In this age group, it is natural for a teenager to not want to spend time with his/her family. This age frame is generally associated with more separation from family and more closeness with friends. For them, this phase of self-isolation has led to increased face time and lack of physical and mental space from their parents, grandparents and/or even siblings.
The Covid-19 pandemic and its associated lockdown and self-isolation at home has brought many challenges for these adolescents to the forefront.
1. Lack of Privacy: Being always at home means lack of privacy. This is more problematic for adolescents who not only feel misunderstood by their parents but also experience discord with their families. More conservative families see their off-spring as an extension of themselves, wherein they feel that their adolescents must think and behave like them and should have their own identity with an independent thought process.
2. Awkward timing of Covid-19: Unfortunately, the timing of the virus (hence self-isolation) came in March, a time most adolescents look forward to because it is end of the grade year. For them, this means a time of least responsibility towards studies; basically full ‘Chill Time’, when many adolescents plan to hang out with friends, celebrate special and landmark occasions (13th, 16th, 18th birthday), plan trips with family or friends (especially in the case of 12th graders). And, all of this has gone out of the window. Some feel like this time will never come back again for them.
3. Increased Chores: The lockdown has come with increased responsibilities in household roles and chores. Many adolescents may need to pitch in, in ways they have not ever needed to before.
4. Vaccum of peers:Being isolated at home means that adolescents cannot meet their friends. They would be missing out on regular peer gettogethers such as sports activities and weekly classes such as taekwondo, dance, or music lessons.
Tips for Adolescents to Better Manage Themselves
1. Stay aware. Know the facts of the Covid-19 pandemic and update yourself with the precautions you can take. Read the newspaper and watch the news once in a couple of days. The idea is not to feel panicked about what is happening but to be aware of the situation, so you can safeguard yourself.
2. Define a routine. Even though you may not have school timings, try to develop a daily routine for yourself. This routine could comprise of activities such as doing school work, catching up with friends, painting, reading, spending time with family, exercising, doing household chores, organising your room/cupboards, and/or going through pictures of family outings/trips.
3. Stay Healthy. Use this time to focus on your mental and physical health. For your mental health, declutter your mind through communication. Spend at least one hour on your physical health every day. Do breathing exercises and meditation, and physical exercises, which are possible within in the space you have at home.
4. Get to know yourself. If you can’t go outside, go inside! Spend time with yourself. Use this time to learn about yourself, explore your likes and dislikes, interests and passions. Try to dig deep and explore the reasons for your interests, develop your opinions about things around you.
5. Differentiate yourself. Your family may define you a certain way, a way that may or may not be how you see yourself. You do not have to buy into how they define you or explain to them endlessly and feel more helpless. Understand that their opinion of you does not define you.
Tips for Adolescents to Better Manage with Family and Community
1. Communicate. Verbalise with others what you are feeling and are comfortable to share. Try to express your feelings to your family members instead of shutting them out. Talk to your parents and explain to them what you are feeling, share your emotions with your parents – whether you feel confused, sad, angry, upset, frustrated. Understand that communication does not mean agreeance. So, even though they may disagree, that does not mean they do not understand you or are rejecting you so long as they hear you and acknowledge you.
Acknowledgement/ validation of them wanting to hear you (even if not understand you) is the first step. Understanding is the next step, which you may or may not get from them. But at least they are trying. Tell them what kind of responses would be helpful for you to open up rather than responses that might make you feel judged, dismissed, or questioned. Help them to help you!
2. Stay connected with friends. While meeting your friends is its own kind of fun, today technology offers many ways to stay connected virtually with your friends. Organise one-on-one or group video calls, play online games together, and/or start online forums where you could discuss a TV show you all have seen or a book you all have read.
3. Understand how to co-exist with other family members. Offer to helping with chores. Spend time with your family watching movies and shows, playing games, or building puzzles. When you are feeling overwhelmed, respect each other’s opinions and private space and take a time out.
4. Establish boundaries with family members. If you feel that your private space is getting invaded, talk to them and tell them that you need some alone time/time to talk to or interact with your friends online. This is possible if you are open to and are spending at least some time with the family every day. Both are important in balance - time together with family and solitary time by yourself.
Utilise this time to develop more relaxed relationships. Stay healthy! Stay safe!
