One of the most common ailments that run as a common thread among all of us is stress. From a home-maker to work moms, from children to teenagers, service to business industries, stress seems to have hit us as an epidemic! Have you ever wondered what stress is, how you got stressed, why you got stressed, and how you could work through your stress? If any of these have crossed your mind, then applying these 5 steps in your daily life, will be helpful for you!
1) Identify: Identifying your stressor is the first step. In moments of stress, the minutest of things is enough to get you worked up. And like a ping-pong ball, stress infuses itself into every aspect of your life. So, it becomes very important to identify from where the string of stress began. If you pause to think deeply, gradually you will be able to figure out the main source of your stress. The concept behind identifying this source of stress is that uncertainty causes more helplessness. Therefore, identification gives you the opportunity to understand your stressors.
2) Differentiate: Once the source of stress has been identified, it is necessary to identity whether this is something you need to be stressed about or not. Often, we pile on upon ourselves other people’s stress – regarding their choices, decisions or actions. So, it is important to ask yourself: is this something I should stress about or is this someone else’s stress? It also becomes helpful to differentiate the arenas of stress; whether it is related to your relationships, work or unfulfilled desire.
3) Evaluate: If you are stressed, ask yourself if it necessary for you to get stressed about the specific situation or at that specific time. Since stress becomes such a common part of our lives, at times we are not able to properly evaluate if we are just creating stress for ourselves by either over evaluating or thinking too much in the future.
4) Build Tolerance: Since stress has become as common as cough and cold (or probably more), it is necessary to build tolerance for it. How you talk to yourselves determines the majority of your reactions. So ask yourself: What are the triggers/events that lead to stress in your life? Could it be that your own beliefs/ belief systems are causing you to perceive a neutral situation as a stressful situation? What is your behaviour in a stressful situation; does it add to your stress? If so, what aspect of your behaviour can you change for the situation to become more neutral? Add disputing thoughts to neutralise stress, questioning the stressor or trigger. Questions that begin with “how”, “what”, “why” and “Could it be…”. So, how is this event bothering me so much? What aspect of this event is causing me stress and why? Could it be that I am over-personalising the situation? Could it be that I’m upset about a past incident and my current reaction is because of that and not because of the current situation?
Thus, if you can understand your triggers/ behavioural and reaction patterns and explain to yourself in positive words that this is a very common phenomenon and should be taken within your stride, then with each passing stressful situation, you will choose to fret lesser and lesser!
5) Cope with Stress: Let’s make a tool bag that will equip you with different coping skills to help you sail through your stressful times. Here, I have listed some of the most common coping tools for stress –physical exercises, breathing exercises, mindful meditation, positive self-talk, craft, play dough, sketching, colouring, painting, playing interactive games (indoors and outdoors), baking, sculpting, creating a gratuity list, following a regular routine and spending time with children/ pets. Try all of them to understand which ones are most apt or most helpful for you!
Wondering how, and if, you will be able to apply all this in your daily lives? Don’t stress about this today! This is tomorrow’s stress! One step at a time and you will be able to handle it! And, if you feel that you are not being able to handle your stress, then therapy can help you recognize and understand how to strengthen/ develop these “Big 5” steps of stress management by helping you identify the core of your stress, teaching you to differentiate between yours and others’ stress, evaluating the requirement of stress, and helping you increase your tolerance for stress and developing your tool bag of coping skills to help you sail through your stressful times!
