Have you ever wondered if your relationship partner/ spouse is loyal to you? Do you know what infidelity really means? Do you know that the meaning of infidelity can vary from person to person? Have you ever considered the fact that infidelity can be quite common among couples? A survey conducted by the Times of India three years ago, revealed that infidelity is not considered a sin or immoral by 61% of Indian men and 76% of Indian women.
What is infidelity? Each intimate relationship, whether it is a dating, cohabiting or a marital relationship, is formed upon and safeguarded by ‘spoken and unspoken rules’. Fidelity with your relationship partner comes under one of the major rules. However, when one partner breaks the loyalty towards his/her partner by being unfaithful to him/her, it is termed as infidelity. This is especially true in today’s society where ‘morality’, I believe, now has a whole new meaning and where work stress and the glitz of the glamour world adds to the ‘attractiveness’ of having an affair. An ‘affair’ is synonymous with, but not restricted to, a sexual relationship. The influx of social media, where one can metaphorically ‘follow’ thousands of people, has added to the walls of privacy crumbling down.
Types of Infidelity: Infidelity can take many forms; physical, emotional, or even forms of secrecy. Infidelity doesn’t necessary have to be demarcated by a physical relationship. It can also be an emotional relationship. Additionally, secrecy in an intimate relationship, where one partner feels betrayed, also comes under the umbrella of infidelity. However, each couple needs to decide what defines infidelity for their relationship. For many couples a physical encounter or relationship outside of the marriage is a complete ‘no’. However, for many others fidelity also means complete transparency in a relationship, i.e., to not have any secrets. Yet, there are many couples that are not as concerned with physical fidelity; their belief is that an emotional bond should be safeguarded by their marital bond.
After infidelity has occurred, now what? Can the relationship still be salvaged? As a couple, you have two choices: you can terminate your relationship or you can choose to use the incident of infidelity to help strengthen your relationship. This does not mean that infidelity is good for any relationship; it is in fact extremely damaging because it breaks the bond, trust and loyalty. However, the fact that there was a betrayal is indicative that there were unaddressed core issues in the relationship to begin with. It is, therefore, important to understand that if both partners are willing to recognize and address the core issues, it can eventually lead to a more secure and intimate relationship. Therapy is useful for both avenues, whether it is for divorce counselling or to strengthen your relationship. If children are involved then it is especially important that you seek help. Therapy is also useful to help you understand your choices and make an informed decision regarding your relationship.
